/ˈland shärk /
From your piercing eyes and killer smile to the way you swim through the crowd, everything about you exudes effortless dominance. First dates and job interviews might rattle the minnows, but you are always at ease - and why shouldn’t you be? In the societal food chain, you are the apex predator. The world is going to need a bigger boat.
/ u bər ˈhip-stər/
You stay cool by not trying to be cool. Whether it’s vintage vinyl record players or reclaimed fixed gear bicycles, you appreciate the things others find valueless. Your frames don’t need actual prescription lenses to see through mainstream society’s BS. Your outfit may be second hand but your moustache is the first of its kind.
/ pī-ə -ˈnərd/
So, apparently you’re cool now. Following the trail you blazed, the masses are finally getting into the movies, comics, and movies based on comics that you were into years ago. You were at Comic-Con back when it was just four dudes and Stan Lee. That unchecked enthusiasm that used to get you wedgied is what now makes you a key member of today’s cultural elite.
Are you ready for the three most important questions of your life?
Who would you rather spank?